I must admit, that had me baffled, as well. I finally figured it out. I'll reveal all in Part 2 of my story, which you will find below. If you want a clue, say the part title over and over ten times fast.
Bonsai's Tale - K-9 Chess
Part 2: Dog's not mousing
So there he sat on the White side of the board, his first move already made. I actually considered moving a Pawn just to see what Bonsai would do. Did he really understand the game from having read a few pages of his chess book? Wait a minute! What am I saying? This dog has me believing he can actually read! He orders a book on line. He pays for it with my credit card. He sets up my chess board on the floor with the pieces in their proper places. He makes a proper opening move, d2-d4 (White Queen's Pawn forward two spaces). Why wouldn't I think he can read?!?
The next day I set about figuring out how Bonsai accomplished all those apparent miracles. The first problem was to discover how he could have used the computer to order a book. Assuming he were able to study my every move from his frequently occupied vantage point on my lap, how did he manage the mechanics of using the keyboard and mouse?
The keyboard would be a challenge. Being a Toy Poodle, his feet are small compared to the average dog, but it's winter and we keep his paws shaggy to insulate the pads from snow and ice. I placed his paw over the keyboard. As small as it looked, it still spanned three keys in any direction. So touch typing was not an option.
The mouse was an even greater challenge. He could probably move it around, but how would he left-click or right-click? I tried putting his paw on the mouse. He pulled it away quickly. At first, I thought it was his distain for unstable surfaces beneath his feet, but second thought suggested a desire to disassociate himself with any computer interface device, which might tend to incriminate him.
It was the next evening that his scheme began to unravel. It was late. I was using my Mac PowerBook on the dining room table. The ceiling fixture was casting a glare on my screen, so I turned it off and turned on a table lamp sitting on a small corner cabinet. The illumination skimmed across the notebook at just the right angle to reveal shiny trails across the touch pad, a rectangular area on which you can move your finger to control the mouse pointer, if you don't want to, or can't, use the mouse. There were also shiny blotches on the click pads.
What were these shiny trails, I wondered? On closer examination I noticed there were also shiny blotches on the keyboard, but only on four keys: C, E, H, and S.
"Chess!" I exclaimed out loud. "Of course, it only takes those four keys to search on CHESS". Without looking up, Bonsai slipped quietly off the edge of his floor cushion. His gray back rounded and his tail tucked between his legs, he pretended to be a giant dust bunny floating across the floor and under the grand piano.
"Those shiny trails and blotches are DOG SNOT! Aren't they?" I called after him, but Bonsai didn't answer. Bonsai has a long narrow muzzle, terminating in a small black WET nose exactly the size of a computer key. He was touch typing, alright, and moving the pointer with his nose. He had seen me use the touch pad many times, with my finger of course.
With that mystery solved, the next loomed larger. How would he be able to enter all the information required to complete a purchase on http://www.barnesandnoble.com ? In addition, how would he get my credit card out of my wallet? I was stumped again.
This evening, I logged on to Barnes and Noble to order a second copy of a book I own on writing dialogue: "Shut Up!" He Explained: A Writer's Guide to the Uses and Misuses of Dialogue by William Noble, Published 1991 by Eriksson, Paul S. Publisher ISBN: 0839777787 ISBN-13: 9780839777786 It's the best book I have ever read on the fine art of writing dialogue. Unfortunately, it is out of print. Fortunately, an authorized used bookseller for B&N has a copy in stock. I clicked the Add button to place it in my Cart, then clicked the various Continue buttons, which took me to the Review page on which there is a Place My Order button.
Well, what do you know? I had forgotten that I was signed up for express check out. There was my credit card number, the expiration date, my shipping address, everything needed to place my order. After typing in the title of the book I wanted and clicking Search, I had completed the entire transaction without touching the keyboard.
If I were to leave the room at that moment, Bonsai could jump up in the chair, use his nose to move the pointer over and click the Edit Your Order button, clear the cart, type C H E S S in the key word box, click Search, select a book from the list, then click his way to the Place My Order button, thereby purchasing his book, using only his little wet nose. I must have left a similar cart open the day he ordered his chess book.
Mystery solved — Bonsai has a nose for literature.
Love you,
Grandpa
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Copyright 2007 PSAI Publications. All rights reserved.
